How to start a conversation with a stranger in English
You're at a party where you only know the host, and the host is busy. Introducing yourself is the easy part. What's hard in English is the second and third minute, when the obvious questions run out, and learners who answer well but forget to ask back end up sounding like they're in an interview.
The situation
You only know the host. Jess is standing next to you by the snacks. Turn small talk into a real conversation.
Your goals
- Introduce yourself naturally
- Share a short story
- Swap contacts or make plans
Words to use
Words you probably know but rarely say. In the app they tick off as you use them.
- come across
- find by chance
- hit it off
- get along instantly
- genuinely
- truly, honestly
- fascinating
- extremely interesting
- bump into
- meet unexpectedly
- keep in touch
- stay in contact
Phrases that work here
We used to work together, years ago.
Answers "How do you know the host?" with a small fact the other person can ask about.
What about you? How do you two know each other?
Hands the same question back, so it doesn't turn into an interview.
So what do you do?
The natural way to ask about someone's job at a party.
Wait, how did you get into that?
A follow-up that invites a story, which is where real conversation starts.
That reminds me of something that happened to me last year.
A smooth bridge from their topic to your own short story.
I'm going to grab a drink. Can I get you anything?
A friendly pause, or a polite way out if the conversation has run its course.
It'd be great to keep in touch. Should we swap numbers?
Moves from a nice chat to an actual contact, without making it a big deal.
How the conversation can go
Jess opens the call. One way to answer:
- Jess
Hey! I don't think we've met. How do you know Mia?
- You
Hi! No, I don't think so. We used to work together, years ago. We sat next to each other and hit it off on the first day. What about you?
- Jess
We climb together. Every Thursday, at the gym near the station.
- You
Oh, really? I've always wanted to try that. How did you get into climbing?
- Jess
Total accident. A friend dragged me along once and I was hooked. Have you ever tried anything like that?
- You
Not climbing, but last year I did a freediving course in Bali, which was terrifying at first. On the first day I couldn't even put my face in the water. By the end, I could dive down about eight metres.
- Jess
No way. That's amazing. Are you still doing it?
- You
Not as much as I'd like. Honestly, I'd genuinely love to try climbing sometime. Could I join you one Thursday? We could swap numbers and keep in touch.
Mistakes to avoid
What is your job?So what do you do?
"What is your job?" sounds like a form or an official question. "What do you do?" is what people say at parties.
Oh, I see. (silence)Oh, nice. How long have you been doing that?
Reacting without a follow-up question leaves the other person to carry the whole conversation.
Can I ask your number?Can I ask for your number? / Should we swap numbers?
"Ask your number" is a direct translation of "minta nomor". In English you ask for something, or get it.
Before you start
- Answer "How do you know the host?" with a tiny story, not just "from work". It gives the other person something to ask about.
- Prepare one 30-second story you can tell in English (a trip, a funny mistake, a new hobby). It's your bridge from small talk to real talk.
- If you click, suggest something specific, like joining them one Thursday, instead of only "Let's keep in touch".
Practise it out loud with Jess
In Lorivo, Jess answers you on a live voice call for about 8 minutes, then you get feedback on your own sentences.
Get it on Google Play